(I am seperating this from the VMA coverage because I feel so strongly about this shit!)
Recently Rihanna preformed a disturbingly scary rendition of “Disturbia” at the VMA’s where she looked like a demon with huge thighs. Let me say this: As my long term readers know, I don’t pimp my own race. To say I’m not usually attracted to people that have the same ethniticity as me. Obviously there are exceptions. I remember seeing the S.O.S Video and thinking to myself “Man I wanna cover her with a good quality havarti cheese and put her in the oven for 10-12 minutes and serve with tortilla chips.” She was SO smoking in the video!! They covered up her big forehead with swooping bangs and she had a bangin’ body too.
Then she cut her hair shorter than mine. I wanted to fucking cry.
Girls with short hair is a fucking paradox to me, like why Alex keeps going back to “Jane Doe” in Grey’s Anatomy. Fuck off its a good show. I see that other girls find the short hair thing “cute” but I sure as fuck don’t. I just generally associate short hair with guys (sexist I know) but thats how all guys think. And if you dig the short hair and you are a dude, you may as well start stretching your cheeks so you can fit your boyfriends balls in your mouth, because you straight up are into guys. Actually I wouldn’t go that far, maybe you just like chicks with dicks.
I get that Rihanna feels the need to reinvent herself. After reading this article about how she’s basically using her product endorsements to pay for her music career, its a natural choice to do something different and edgy. Getting David La Chapelle was a smart move for her video for “Disturbia” but although the performance at the VMAs and the video were really well executed I don’t feel that the weird house of horrors theme suits the song. It’s too reminiscent of Tamia- Imagination, but unlike Tamia’s song its got a more normal poppy feel. But the theme is scary and weird and her thighs look huge in that outfit and her hair looks dumb. *sigh*
Watch: Rihanna- Disturbia (live @ VMA08)
